Helpless (9/29/13)

You feel so damn helpless,

Not knowing what to do,

Looking down to see the one,

Who used to carry you.

First she carried you inside,

Then held you in her arms,

Kept you safe and warm and loved,

And protected you from harm.

Now there's nothing you can do,

To make it all okay,

It all weighs heavy on your mind,

While you pace and rage and pray.

The helplessness just eats at you,

While you gently take her hand.

You try to stop the tears that fall,

But you'll never understand.

So you hold her close until it's time,

And whisper in her ear,

Tell her “Mom, I love you,”

And try to alleviate her fear.

She feels the love and when she goes,

Your love will be her guide,

She'll be ready to make the journey,

For those she loves are by her side.

9/29/13 TLA

Rhyme or Reason (9/29/13)

There is no rhyme or reason,

Only the changing of the season.

Wanting only to make sense,

Being lost your only defense.

Wanting only to break out,

Breaking the chains of all your doubt.

Use your mind and use your time,

To find the reason in the rhyme.

Your doubts will forever cease,

And only then will you find peace.

9/29/30 TLA

Lost (9/29/13)

We're all a little lost sometimes,

Wandering through life alone,

Always being the odd one out,

Even now when grown.

Smiling like everything's okay,

Pretending it's the norm,

But inside always crying out,

Riding out the storm.

Always waiting for that one,

To come and take your hand,

Who makes you feel like you belong,

Who might just understand.

9/29/13 TLA

Today-Remembering

If anyone is in the mood, feel free to share 911 stories.  I will be on the go today and may or may not.  I still get very emotional about this day.

Re Fitting in or Not

My Laptop is acting all wonky, so I have to make a PS comment here via mobile.

PS

Out of the school situation that wasn't such a great experience for us-we did manage to meet so many great loving accepting people, all of whom we will be friends with for life.

Just because I express one sentiment, I don't mean to sound ungrateful.  Because we ARE so so grateful.  Especially for all our loving friends who do accept us for who we are. 

And we are even grateful for those who don't, for we have learned so much at every challenge. 

I think the question is now-not HOW do I fit in but WHERE do I have the MOST gratitude and joy-and BE there. 

Lots of transitions up ahead! Good to have figured this out now! Love to you all.

Beacon 9/9/13

This one is for Gabbie:

Don't ever let them dim your light,

Not even for awhile.

It matters not what others think,

You're making life worthwhile.

Keep true to who you really are,

Not what others want to see.

Don't ever let them take away,

What you were meant to be.

For you're a beacon in the dark,

A glow, a light, a flame,

Showing how to really live,

And in that there is no shame.

Keep living how you're living,

To critics bid, “Adieu,”

Spread your light; don't dim it,

And never give up you.

9/9/13 TLA

New Theme?

It's so complicated.  If we know we shine bright, vibrate at a high frequency, have much more energy than some, are we meant to keep on shining bright, or are we meant to dim our bulbs for fear of not fitting in?  How do we get along?  I'm often told that my energy is intense and scares most people.  My heart sinks.  The last thing I want is to bother anyone.  It's a lifetime of not fitting in, that I've just grown used to, and yes, sometimes I do purposely dim my bulb to try to not make waves.  I'm just a big old freak who loves life.  I'm creative in that I see a play, a painting, a song in everything-and to me, life is sweet and juicy and fun.  I know I exhaust the hell out of people who don't quite know how to have fun.  What's worse, they think I don't see the eye rolls and sighs when I speak of something creative.  It used to really hurt my feelings.  I've been misjudged as crazy, or aggressive, or flighty, and sometimes even snooty.  Those rare few real friends know different.  They know I'm just a really funny human having an authentic experience and I learn fast and laugh at myself a lot along the way and write a few poems about it.  So, the question remains, are we to shine brighter, even if sometimes it explodes dim lightbulbs?  Are we to keep on shining, despite the stern judgements and queer looks.  "I just don't know what to make of her..."  Or must we dim our bulbs in order to survive socially?  Must we pretend not to hear the passive aggressive manipulations, the condescending comments, the grey alien hive mind stifling our inner goddessness?  :)

And what pray tell do we teach our bright children?  With this in mind, my inclination is flagrant shining.  Sadly, that doesn't make too many friends in Stepford.   

Thoughts?