More Pet Peeves

Yep, Bad Manners

Liars

Holier-than-thou-ers

Aggressive Sales Tactics

Judgey Types

Other Moms who think when they "delegate", people don't see through their BS

Namby Pamby limitations brought on by sheeple-ish memes.

Anyone who tries to tell me what to do

....

and especially

Drama queens, whiners, and perpetual victims.

Pet Peeve (8/31/13)

Ah... pet peeves... I have my fair share. But probably close to the very top of my list is a complete lack of manners. I try to instill manners into my children but sometimes I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle. When we go out and we gets doors slammed in our faces or a complete lack of  "Please" and "Thank you," the kids don't always understand why THEY should have manners when the majority doesn't. But it really is quite simple; it's the right thing to do. If people would only have manners, this world would be a much more pleasant place.

8/31/13
TLA

Our Blood (G. 8.30.2013)

Our blood survives

Mixed with yours

Continents once joined

Divided by ancient wars

Settlers invited

And uninvited

Pierced our costal shores

Glad to have escaped

Distant tyrannies 

Mixing destinies 

At first accepted

Only what was given

Then tainted hearts

Took and took

Until we were driven

Scattered, shattered

Histories and lies

Ignoring our cries

To preserve our medicines

Your god knew better?

Our ancestors grew weary

Of the "settlers"

And hid away 

In our DNA

But you will never kill

What is real

Preserved in soil and song

There all along

With the stars and skies

Our blood survives.

Dust

So much I want to say

So much I already do

What will get through?

What will get done?

Before I run and run?

Escaping heat

Will I ever beat?

Time? No?

Still I go and go!

Fighting against the grain

Some say I'm insane

But I'm really so tame

Compared to most 

Who don't except being host

To chaos peace and love

Looking far above

Rhyme and reason 

Know it alls who fall

Leaving me to collect

The ruins of the day

And give over to the sway

Of love and trust

I'll sleep when I'm dust.

Knowing I did all I could.

Judge Me Not (8/20/13)

This is #2 of last week's themes. I've been running a bit behind.

You don't know where I've been,

Nor what I have been through.

You look down upon me,

As if somehow you knew.

You don't have the slightest,

Of the hours I put in,

Supporting my children,

Building them up within.

I may work lots of hours,

But never miss a game,

Helping with their homework,

Which others cannot claim.

To those that will judge me,

And all I haven't got,

What I have... happiness,

So you may judge me not!

8/20/13 TLA

San Francisco

Written on my 9 year anniversary of leaving you, inspired by Velouria by The Pixes

Oh mother place

I miss your face

Sacred womb

Where I once bloomed

Holding me so close

Burritos sing 

Oh eat me now

You can really eat

Guacamole

Gabrielle Gabrielle

You don't really smell

My Gabrielle My Gabrielle

Fly above

The golden gate

Far above the moon,

After drinking at Alibi-on

My City rock-s 

Oh Gabrielle, O Gabrielle

You'll be here soon

My San Francisco

And the soul than shines

On the ever

And the city that shines

On my soul forever

Together forever

My San Francisco

A Pet Peeve-Gabrielle

The Theme from Goodfellas!

Eeeeek!

It gives me panic attacks!

Next weeks theme or idea

Pet Peeves! 

Rargh!

Here it is. The good, the bad the ugly!

Name your worst annoyances and pet peeves. Don't hold back.

Haiku Therapy

(When something excites me, or in this case aggravates me, I write a Haiku and somehow breathe easier.  2 themes this week: saying goodbye to passive aggressive people.  And - this ones a biggie-people who have no clue what kind of effort some things take with two kids in tow.  In a lot of ways, the past few weeks have been a great shaking up, revealing people's true colors, showing me my own bottom line of what I won't tolerate in my life.  As I draw that bottom line in the sand, I make room for friends who do show respect.  It's not just me going through it.  I seem to be hearing the same stories everywhere.  People are eager to make positive changes.  I like to call this time a friendshift.)

The Haiku

Weak little people

Enjoy laying thick guilt trips

The strong know better

Some Rhyming for Tam

Charming Imperfections

Thanks for not judging me

Because my house is a mess

Trying to clean after kids

Is way too much stress

Besides I'd rather run and play

With my darlings, you know

Cheddar bunnies smashed in car

No shower, on the go

Thanks for your kindness

And mommy camaraderie 

Thanks for not judging

This mess that is me

I know you know

What's it's like to run wild

Fostering dreams

Of an imaginative child

The food in my teeth

The loose hair of my bun

It's the best I can do

Always on the run

From play date to school

To party to fair

I do my best to organize 

To show how I care

For my darling kiddos

And you do the same

It's all in a day

Of the momminess game

A Stepford I'm not

No perfection here

You  understand my state

And lend a sympathetic ear

While some moms claim

They've got it all together

We smile and wink

Because we do know better

Try to keep it all straight

And we'll never win

Better to have a messy life

And happy children!

Thank you to all 

My cool Mom friends 

It means the world

To be liked for who I am

Imperfections (8/11/13)

Not so perfect,

Full of flaws,

Hope for the best,

But grasp at straws.

No one wants you,

The way you are.

They want perfections,

And you're so far.

You live your life,

In the shadow of all,

Being a doormat,

And feeling so small.

The day must come,

When you throw off the fear,

Embrace imperfections,

Staring back from the mirror.

Love yourself,

Is what you must do.

Flaws be damned,

When you love you for you.

8/11/13 TLA

Loving The Rain

As the rain falls today, I'm feeling  grateful. Here in Colorado, we've been in a drought for the last few years, and we've also had some pretty nasty forest fires. Where rain used to mean not playing outside - bad, boring or restrictive; now it means, quenching Colorado's thirst, not so much lawn watering restrictions, putting out fires, making green grass, etc. For many of us, it means a break from the stifling, cranky heat. I adore running outside in the park way when it's cooler.

Every time the weather shifts, I can't help but feel a shift in the patterns of my life as well. This time it's all about letting go of things that don't work, whether they be ideas, bad habits, or potentially toxic acquaintances. As the rain falls, the old energies are cleansed and the ground softens, making space for new energy to grow. So, since the rain started, I've slept better, and had these amazing psychedelic dreams. I've also started a new gym routine; one that is more balanced and incorporates Spin, Yoga, Weights, Boot Camp, Bar, Pilates, and Swimming. 

Let there be more rain this Summer, and more space to grow and shift in positive directions; allowing in only positive proactive friends, healthy habits, and tons of love for us all.

Birthdays

When I was little, birthdays in my house were a pretty big event.  I remember dinners out, trips to Disneyland, slumber parties, cakes with candles and a lot of presents.  My parents spoiled me (rightfully so, of course).

As I grew up - well into my 20's, I loved my birthday.  Every year, in the middle of summer, I would look for items at the grocery store that had expiration dates on my birthday.  It meant my birthday was nearing!  I loved my birthday!

And then...I turned 30.  I cried.  Birthdays were suddenly so cruel. How could I be a year older?  Where did my 20's go?  The decade of my life that I loved so much.  I suddenly became like almost everyone else that doesn't celebrate their birthday after a certain age.  I tried to ignore my birthdays.  "Don't get me anything!" I'd say sadly.  I don't celebrate birthdays anymore!  I'd put grocery items back on the shelf if my birthday was the expiration date.  I didn't need that reminder!

Sometimes I even lost track of how old I really was.  I'd have to calculate my age quickly when people would ask.  I tried my best to just completely forget that I was getting older.

And then - I turned 41.  And then, I got cancer.  Twice.

Birthday Cake for my 42nd Birthday
during cancer treatment.  My daughter
and friends made it - and put 42 candles
on it.  Fire Hazard!!

And all I wanted more than anything in the world was MORE birthdays!  MORE years!  MORE time!
Please!  Please let me live another year!  Would it be too much to ask for 5 more years?  10 more years?  To see my children grow up?  To see them get married?  To meet my grandchildren?  How much could I hope for?

Now I'm 43.  I've been in remission from breast cancer for 16 months.  I turn 44 next month.  I'm thrilled!

Oh sure, I have gray hair and there are a few wrinkles cropping up.  But, I welcome them now.  Look at what I went through to get here!  I earned them all!  And I'm just so thankful to be here for another year...and another...and another...and another.

I still don't quite acknowledge my true age.  I say I'm turning 35.  I spent 2 years at 39 and then started aging backwards.  That makes THIS birthday my 35th (again). That's just smart math, in my opinion.

Perhaps Birthdays aren't as much about aging - but more about perspective.  Embrace them - no one knows how many more they have.  Even though we lament getting older, I, for one, am glad to get the second chance to do so.

Rain 8/6/13

Okay, here's one that's actually about the theme of the week:

The rain, it falls down from the sky,

It splitter splats the walk.

The colors streaming down the lane,

From a sidewalk filled with chalk.

The jump ropes lay abandoned,

No hands to twirl them round.

The balls have been abandoned,

And strewn across the ground.

The rain starts coming down in sheets,

Dashing any hope for play.

A collective sigh floats through the house,

Wishing the rain away.

8/6/13 TLA

Tears 8/6/13

I sat down to write about rain, but this came out instead.

The tears stream down,

You wipe them away,

You wish they'd stop falling,

Al least for one day.

But you can't stop the memories;

You can't stop the dreams,

And you can't stop your mind,

And its wild extremes.

You don't enjoy anything,

You're trapped in your head.

You'd give anything to change it,

And live another life instead.

But you decide to wait it out,

You patiently wait for the day,

That the tears will stop streaming down,

And everything will be okay.

8/6/13 TLA

Tales Left Behind (8/4/13)

We all grow up,

We all grow old.

We have stories to tell,

Until they're all told.

The places we've been,

The places we've gone.

The people we've met,

And the ones who pass on.

It goes by so fast,

You try to hold tight.

It slips through your fingers,

And slips out of sight.

So love while you can.

Remember, be kind!

And you'll always live on,

In tales left behind.

8/4/13 TLA

My comments, because comments don't work on my phone

Tam, I just want to say thanks for being such a great support. It means the world that someone reads my scribblings, misplaced commas and all. The words/theme of day ideas were thought up at the beginning of this year as a way to motivate me to write. My chief excuse is always lack of time, due to Riv and Z being so young. So, with that, this friend and I got the idea that every morning, she would send something, an idea or word or phrase, and by the end of the day, I'd produce something. It worked great for awhile. 

I never have the space to get on the home computer or even laptop. Many days, it's difficult enough to even use my own phone. BUT there's usually a moment or two, when I wear them out, usually in their car seats-when I can hit the drive through coffee, and create-and at that-almost always on my notes on the iPhone. So, the raw "scribblings" are almost always copied and pasted straight from notes to Blogsopt. Yeah, I know I should take time to develop and polish, but right now, I just don't have that time. I'm so grateful you guys put up with this.

Also, regarding Benny... Someone just brought up the vulgarity. On that I will say, sometimes I get a story in my head, and the characters just speak directly to me and they are sometimes vulgar. I'm grateful for that and I just go with it. I hope I don't offend anyone. Or maybe it's just me who's rowdy and vulgar. In the spirit of self acceptance-yay to being rowdy and vulgar.

It's my hope we get even more participants and that eventually we can speed up the flow to the point where we are throwing out themes daily again. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have friends reading and sometimes even liking my writing. This is all kicking my butt and motivating me to develop characters even more and who knows, maybe I'll even publish one day. Honestly, sometimes my life is so weird and whacky, I'm sure it shows, like a lot of people, I struggle with feelings of worthiness- suffer from poor time management, etc. Getting over THAT is why I started this blog.

I love what you write too and love that you are writing. 

The wedding today went well! If anything, I do write great wedding ceremonies. 

Like a child before their own birthday, I'm up late celebrating my beautiful River turning 2! Both my children are a gift and I'm thrilled with what amazing teachers they are, and how much joy they bring, even if I only have time to write with my poor tired thumbs on the phone. Huzzah!

Your Feet

Your precious

Little monkey feet

Tickle my ribs 

As we fall fast asleep

Your spun sugar

Baby hair

Caresses my cheek

Makes me aware

That life has

Many reasons why

Other plans we make

May go awry 

There's no greater love

Than from a mamas boy

No other path

Could have brought this joy

Happy 2 Years, my River

Fresh Scents

(This one was written on Feb. 6-again with the theme/word of the day theme. Forgive me for posting an older one. I hope, still to write at least something short on or by Sunday, but I'm crazy busy with a wedding and prepping for the big bday party...)

Fresh Scents

(Word/Theme of Day Feb. 6, 2013)

Lucy silently smiled to herself. Turning 88 in such a world, was a true feat, one she had never wanted. It would have been better for her to go with the others, all those years ago, when the sky went dark for a long, long time. Were it not for little Juliette, she would have purposely joined the others in the here after, the great nothing, or whatever happens when we die. The bond between the old woman, and her granddaughter was strong, and even stronger, when she was all the little girl had left. Her parents, killed instantly in the impact, had often left Juliette with her grandmother while they traveled for work.  When it was clear they were dead, Juliette did not weep. They wept more for the loss of the flowers, the animals, and the innocence of the life they once knew. They were grateful Grandpa Charley did not live to see the apocalypse. They remembered him, smiling, smoking cigars, working with leather goods in his tool shed. Those were truly good days. Lucy, always digging in her flower garden, while Juliette munched freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, asking questions about the newest exotic location of her parents travels.

Just 5 years before the explosions, Cancer took Grandpa Charley. Right before he passed away, he said to Juliette:

"Make sure you look after your Grandma. Know that I love you, and I'm always with you and she. One day, we will all be together again. Time is nothing on the other side. Believe."

The darkness fell unexpectedly. Thanks to their connections, they didn't have to fight as hard as others to survive. An ugliness fell upon the world. Fear, death and desperation threatened everything.  Thanks to elaborate tunnels and shelters, meant only for the elite, they made it through two decades underground.  Eventually it was time to rebuild the surface. 

Juliette thrived in the gray, lifeless world, while Lucy looked after her. Eventually Juliette married a well connected scientist, much like the father she had hardly known. It pained her to know she was the reason her Grandmother didn't take the death pills, like so many others.  At the same time, she was grateful her grandmother had sacrificed quick entry into a better world out of love for her.  Eventually, it also pained Juliette to see her proud grandmother, a woman who had seen her through the horrors of the end of world, decline in health because of age. Memories and functions faded as the thought of Lucy's dementia terrified them both.

Lucy did, in fact, decline suicide in order to look after Juliette. She also believed it would be better to wait for other reasons. It was Juliette, herself who invented Fresh Scents. And the two decided, once the process was perfected, Lucy should be the first to try it. 

The secret laboratory looked the same as every other hanger in the government compound. As she walked inside, dressed in her finest clothes, she marveled at the recreation of her old garden. She was so proud Juliette had discovered how to make things grow once more, even if they only survived for a short time. Juliette opened a bottle of 1929  Chateau Margaux, in honor of the occasion. Lucy took a sip, set down the glass, and held Juliette in a tight embrace.

"Thank you for my birthday present."

Juliette's eyes filled. "I love you, Grandma."

As Lucy laid down in the chamber, the Fresh Scents mask was placed over her face. First the smell of dirt and cotton growing in the fields; running in the sunshine. The smell of her mother's freshly laundered aprons, warm lazy days in a beautiful world. Freshly baked cookies. The smell of sweat, a distinct smell, the smell of her first and only love: Charles. Aroma of Champagne and wedding cake, the smell of hospital - Avery's birth. The smell of hospital, Avery's daughter, Juliette's birth. The smell of babies, of love, pure love. Lilacs and Daffodils in her own garden. The smell of her precious Juliette's long hair shining in the long forgotten sun. All beautiful smells, wafted in and out, restoring all that was lost. Finally, the smell of leather and tobacco. The mask filled the chamber. 

"Charley! Charley my love! I'm finally here!"

Charley pushed through the light, grabbed Lucy and pulled her to his center. She smiled once again as he whispered, "Time and space, are nothing to Lovers. Welcome home."

The Shadows 8/1/13 (Birthday Theme)

Add a candle every year.

With each candle comes the fear,

Waiting for the shadows to appear,

Holding on to all that is dear.

The shadows start dancing upon the wall.

Every year you can hear their call,

Now so big; they once were so small,

Too many now to count them all.

When you notice the first it's already begun.

The shadows, they come at you, one by one.

Once they're there they can't be undone,

Eventually you'll find that the shadows have won.

But until that time the candles you light,

Trying to make it through another night,

Telling yourself it will all be alright,

Fighting the shadows with all of your might.

Then the shadows whisper in your ear,

Telling you all that you've longed to hear,

So many candles and so many years,

You know now you're ready for the end to be near.

You hold out your hand; you'll do this with grace,

And with everything you muster a smile for your face,

You realize you're finally done with this place,

Then you lay forever in the shadow's sweet embrace.

8/1/13 TLA