Haiku Therapy

(When something excites me, or in this case aggravates me, I write a Haiku and somehow breathe easier.  2 themes this week: saying goodbye to passive aggressive people.  And - this ones a biggie-people who have no clue what kind of effort some things take with two kids in tow.  In a lot of ways, the past few weeks have been a great shaking up, revealing people's true colors, showing me my own bottom line of what I won't tolerate in my life.  As I draw that bottom line in the sand, I make room for friends who do show respect.  It's not just me going through it.  I seem to be hearing the same stories everywhere.  People are eager to make positive changes.  I like to call this time a friendshift.)

The Haiku

Weak little people

Enjoy laying thick guilt trips

The strong know better

Some Rhyming for Tam

Charming Imperfections

Thanks for not judging me

Because my house is a mess

Trying to clean after kids

Is way too much stress

Besides I'd rather run and play

With my darlings, you know

Cheddar bunnies smashed in car

No shower, on the go

Thanks for your kindness

And mommy camaraderie 

Thanks for not judging

This mess that is me

I know you know

What's it's like to run wild

Fostering dreams

Of an imaginative child

The food in my teeth

The loose hair of my bun

It's the best I can do

Always on the run

From play date to school

To party to fair

I do my best to organize 

To show how I care

For my darling kiddos

And you do the same

It's all in a day

Of the momminess game

A Stepford I'm not

No perfection here

You  understand my state

And lend a sympathetic ear

While some moms claim

They've got it all together

We smile and wink

Because we do know better

Try to keep it all straight

And we'll never win

Better to have a messy life

And happy children!

Thank you to all 

My cool Mom friends 

It means the world

To be liked for who I am

Imperfections (8/11/13)

Not so perfect,

Full of flaws,

Hope for the best,

But grasp at straws.

No one wants you,

The way you are.

They want perfections,

And you're so far.

You live your life,

In the shadow of all,

Being a doormat,

And feeling so small.

The day must come,

When you throw off the fear,

Embrace imperfections,

Staring back from the mirror.

Love yourself,

Is what you must do.

Flaws be damned,

When you love you for you.

8/11/13 TLA

Loving The Rain

As the rain falls today, I'm feeling  grateful. Here in Colorado, we've been in a drought for the last few years, and we've also had some pretty nasty forest fires. Where rain used to mean not playing outside - bad, boring or restrictive; now it means, quenching Colorado's thirst, not so much lawn watering restrictions, putting out fires, making green grass, etc. For many of us, it means a break from the stifling, cranky heat. I adore running outside in the park way when it's cooler.

Every time the weather shifts, I can't help but feel a shift in the patterns of my life as well. This time it's all about letting go of things that don't work, whether they be ideas, bad habits, or potentially toxic acquaintances. As the rain falls, the old energies are cleansed and the ground softens, making space for new energy to grow. So, since the rain started, I've slept better, and had these amazing psychedelic dreams. I've also started a new gym routine; one that is more balanced and incorporates Spin, Yoga, Weights, Boot Camp, Bar, Pilates, and Swimming. 

Let there be more rain this Summer, and more space to grow and shift in positive directions; allowing in only positive proactive friends, healthy habits, and tons of love for us all.

Birthdays

When I was little, birthdays in my house were a pretty big event.  I remember dinners out, trips to Disneyland, slumber parties, cakes with candles and a lot of presents.  My parents spoiled me (rightfully so, of course).

As I grew up - well into my 20's, I loved my birthday.  Every year, in the middle of summer, I would look for items at the grocery store that had expiration dates on my birthday.  It meant my birthday was nearing!  I loved my birthday!

And then...I turned 30.  I cried.  Birthdays were suddenly so cruel. How could I be a year older?  Where did my 20's go?  The decade of my life that I loved so much.  I suddenly became like almost everyone else that doesn't celebrate their birthday after a certain age.  I tried to ignore my birthdays.  "Don't get me anything!" I'd say sadly.  I don't celebrate birthdays anymore!  I'd put grocery items back on the shelf if my birthday was the expiration date.  I didn't need that reminder!

Sometimes I even lost track of how old I really was.  I'd have to calculate my age quickly when people would ask.  I tried my best to just completely forget that I was getting older.

And then - I turned 41.  And then, I got cancer.  Twice.

Birthday Cake for my 42nd Birthday
during cancer treatment.  My daughter
and friends made it - and put 42 candles
on it.  Fire Hazard!!

And all I wanted more than anything in the world was MORE birthdays!  MORE years!  MORE time!
Please!  Please let me live another year!  Would it be too much to ask for 5 more years?  10 more years?  To see my children grow up?  To see them get married?  To meet my grandchildren?  How much could I hope for?

Now I'm 43.  I've been in remission from breast cancer for 16 months.  I turn 44 next month.  I'm thrilled!

Oh sure, I have gray hair and there are a few wrinkles cropping up.  But, I welcome them now.  Look at what I went through to get here!  I earned them all!  And I'm just so thankful to be here for another year...and another...and another...and another.

I still don't quite acknowledge my true age.  I say I'm turning 35.  I spent 2 years at 39 and then started aging backwards.  That makes THIS birthday my 35th (again). That's just smart math, in my opinion.

Perhaps Birthdays aren't as much about aging - but more about perspective.  Embrace them - no one knows how many more they have.  Even though we lament getting older, I, for one, am glad to get the second chance to do so.

Rain 8/6/13

Okay, here's one that's actually about the theme of the week:

The rain, it falls down from the sky,

It splitter splats the walk.

The colors streaming down the lane,

From a sidewalk filled with chalk.

The jump ropes lay abandoned,

No hands to twirl them round.

The balls have been abandoned,

And strewn across the ground.

The rain starts coming down in sheets,

Dashing any hope for play.

A collective sigh floats through the house,

Wishing the rain away.

8/6/13 TLA

Tears 8/6/13

I sat down to write about rain, but this came out instead.

The tears stream down,

You wipe them away,

You wish they'd stop falling,

Al least for one day.

But you can't stop the memories;

You can't stop the dreams,

And you can't stop your mind,

And its wild extremes.

You don't enjoy anything,

You're trapped in your head.

You'd give anything to change it,

And live another life instead.

But you decide to wait it out,

You patiently wait for the day,

That the tears will stop streaming down,

And everything will be okay.

8/6/13 TLA