As I grew up - well into my 20's, I loved my birthday. Every year, in the middle of summer, I would look for items at the grocery store that had expiration dates on my birthday. It meant my birthday was nearing! I loved my birthday!
And then...I turned 30. I cried. Birthdays were suddenly so cruel. How could I be a year older? Where did my 20's go? The decade of my life that I loved so much. I suddenly became like almost everyone else that doesn't celebrate their birthday after a certain age. I tried to ignore my birthdays. "Don't get me anything!" I'd say sadly. I don't celebrate birthdays anymore! I'd put grocery items back on the shelf if my birthday was the expiration date. I didn't need that reminder!
Sometimes I even lost track of how old I really was. I'd have to calculate my age quickly when people would ask. I tried my best to just completely forget that I was getting older.
And then - I turned 41. And then, I got cancer. Twice.
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| Birthday Cake for my 42nd Birthday during cancer treatment. My daughter and friends made it - and put 42 candles on it. Fire Hazard!! |
And all I wanted more than anything in the world was MORE birthdays! MORE years! MORE time!
Please! Please let me live another year! Would it be too much to ask for 5 more years? 10 more years? To see my children grow up? To see them get married? To meet my grandchildren? How much could I hope for?
Now I'm 43. I've been in remission from breast cancer for 16 months. I turn 44 next month. I'm thrilled!
Oh sure, I have gray hair and there are a few wrinkles cropping up. But, I welcome them now. Look at what I went through to get here! I earned them all! And I'm just so thankful to be here for another year...and another...and another...and another.
I still don't quite acknowledge my true age. I say I'm turning 35. I spent 2 years at 39 and then started aging backwards. That makes THIS birthday my 35th (again). That's just smart math, in my opinion.
Perhaps Birthdays aren't as much about aging - but more about perspective. Embrace them - no one knows how many more they have. Even though we lament getting older, I, for one, am glad to get the second chance to do so.
Oh. . .it may have been a week late but it was wonderful :) I am so glad you are here and turning 44 next month. . .one, because you are here and you are a delight, in a smart aleck kind of way, but also because I don't turn 44 until March ;) I love your writing style :)
ReplyDeleteI love it, Laura! I'm so glad you have joined us! I look forwarding to reading more from you! I read your previous blog and I loved it. Please don't stop!
ReplyDeleteHi Laura! I loved your post and the fact that you honor us with a post so much so, that I'm sneaking downstairs to write a comment on the house computer. For some reason, the comments don't work from my mobile device. LOVE this post! I know you couldn't always see it, but just know when you were going through the worst of the battle, many of us were along for the ride emotionally. I have never seen anyone more brave than you, my dear. I hope you will write here often, but not just that...I hope you will write a book - because I think your spirit and humor could help a lot of people. LOVE YA! Oh, think up a theme for next week!
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